EXPECTATIONS

4/3/2013 1:12 pm
My dearest

You are to me a stranger, and I to you am a stranger, yet I love you and
you love me. How is this possible? Two souls transiting the physical
plane, living and loving as much as possible, after the nature of being
human, with only this one choice: to be, richly or else poorly; taking
the risk of poverty over wealth; in love, or in loneliness. We are both
solitary lonely souls whose lives are concluding, wishing with profound
sincerity to BE, to be in connection, to be in holdingness, to be, in
each other, holding, loving, feeling, real, true.

I may yet refuse you, I cannot predict myself. But I know this: we are
together on this path which is our fate, not mine, not yours, but ours.
I am so glad to discover another, a woman, whose being complements my
own, a man, in the striving for complete humanity. I love you.

We have so much attending our intercourse. There is bonding and being,
the last, possibly, lusting relationship which reminds us of our human
beingness. (I am in love with you.) There is the bonding of two people
who have hoped for love their entire lives, whose restless wanting has
broken bond after bond (I should speak for myself). Are you the love I
have ever wanted? Am I the love you have craved for these many decades?
I am not 27 and I do not want a woman whose cravings remind me I am not
27. I want you, 52, to love me for who I am, to grow with me to the END!

What if I am not the love you have wanted? Then the temple of being is
burned to the ground and we die not satisfied but despaired. Oh sadness.
Profound sadness. Would I know I am broken if the world proceeds
unaffected? (Yes!) I love you now and if you will love me totally I will
not abandon you. Let us be in love, let us love totally, and forget
totally youthful ambitions of perfect love.

I give you leave to think I am crazy and without substance. In that case
just tell me. But if my being in these words is your being, and you are
in these words, love me now, and my love you need never doubt.

Stephen .